5 Must-Tell Messages to Prepare the Kids for Your Divorce

by Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

One of the most difficult conversations I ever had was telling my son about my pending divorce. I struggled with the anxiety of guilt, shame, fear and dread for weeks in advance. When should I tell him? How should I tell him? Should we tell him together? And most frightening of all, WHAT SHOULD WE SAY?

Thankfully I found a plan. I came up with a storybook that told my son, in words and pictures, the story of how his father and I met, married and started a family. It explained problems we encountered and the decision we ultimately made to get a divorce.

In my new book, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love!, I provide a fill-in-the-blanks template that other parents can use to prepare their children for the many changes ahead. It also focuses on five key messages that are essential for every child to hear and understand. By sharing these points with your children you will enable them to better handle, accept and even embrace the challenges and changes they will soon be facing:

1) This is not your fault.
2) Mom and Dad will always be your parents.
3) This is about change, not about blame.
4) Things will work out okay.
5) Mom and Dad will always love you.

These core messages are the foundation your children will depend on when they are feeling frightened, sad or insecure. Repeat them often in your own words. You’ll be rewarded in countless ways as you and your children encounter and overcome the challenges of life after divorce.

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Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is the author of the new book, How Do I Tell the Kids … about the Divorce? A fill-in-the-blanks storybook that prepares your children -- with love. Contact Rosalind at roz@rosalindsedacca.com. For free articles and her ezine, go to: www.childcentereddivorce.com .